Creep Creep
By Jessica Walker
I’d like to share something that happened to me to prove that awareness is your MOST important tool in self-defense.
I was at a bookstore on Saturday morning right after they opened about 9:15am. I ran out of books to read so I had a list of new books and authors that I wanted to research. I knew the section where those types of books/authors are housed so I walked to the back right corner of the store. I found my aisle and had just started my search when a man walking briskly, abruptly stopped when he saw me and acted like he was looking at the books on the shelves at the end of the aisle. He startled me and made me kind of mad. He was “normal” looking, about 40 years old, slightly shorter than me but nothing out of the ordinary. Immediately I felt something was off with this guy. I knew he wasn’t there mustering up the nerve to ask me out. I tried to ignore him and continued to look for the books on my list. He enters the aisle and acted like he was looking for a book and hung around the section for about a couple minutes. Then he walked away briskly.
I felt so uncomfortable by his presence that I actually feared for the other people in the store and wanted to observe his behavior from a distance to make sure my feelings weren’t just paranoia. I grabbed a book and sat in the section to the left of my aisle in a position where I could see just about everything. He was pacing around the store anxiously as if he was trying to get his “fix.” He definitely wasn’t looking for a book. I noticed the other patrons in the store and compared his behavior to theirs. Everyone else was calmly perusing the aisles, stopping to read a couple paragraphs of a particular book before placing it back on the shelf or cradling a book as if they had found “the one.” There was an older man sitting a couple tables away from me reading a poetry book very intently, not even noticing anything or anyone around him, he was that engrossed. I said to myself, “These people are acting appropriately, this man is not!” Then he appeared again, this time walking through the children’s section at which point I perked up to see if there were any children present and thankfully there were not. He continued through that section and headed for the restrooms. He was in the restroom for a while, doing God knows what!
He exited the restroom and walked over by me again close enough that I could hear his breathing and I could tell he was definitely anxious, that’s the best description. He walked behind me, which gave me the heebie jeebies, and grabbed a random book and sat at the table to my right. I had, had enough at that point and got up to put my decoy book back and slowly walked towards the register fully expecting him to follow me. When he didn’t I thought I was just being paranoid. I checked out feeling silly, shaking my head and doubting the whole thing. But that all went away as I was walking towards the door and noticed out of the corner of my eye, there he was bent down in the clearance section reading a book. Now remember, less than two minutes ago he grabbed a book to sit down and read. Yeah, I was right on about this guy.
I doubled back and approached the information counter and asked for the manager. When he arrived I softly asked if we could talk in private, to get out of hearing distance of the stalker guy. I explained the whole situation to the manager and described the man in great detail. The manager was very concerned and said he would take care of it, thanked me and signaled over an employee to walk me out to my car. When I was heading for the door I watched the manager walking around the store looking for the man.
Now what I’d like you to take away from my experience is three fold:
- Trust your instincts; they are a very valuable survival tool.
- Predators do not turn off their urges just because it’s Saturday morning. For the majority of them, these feelings are constant! I cannot stress that enough.
- Always alert someone who can help because even if you are “out of the woods,” that predator is still going to look for his/her next prey.
Being aware empowers YOU while simultaneously weakening the predator by taking away the element of surprise.
Until next time, here’s to keeping you Safer in the City!
- Jessica
About Jessica Walker~”Safer in the City” columnist I was very excited when asked to write a column for saferdates.com. I’ve been influenced by safety and self-defense pretty much my whole life. While other girls were making macaroni necklaces in Girl Scouts, I was sparring with boys, breaking boards and doing knuckle push-ups on cement in Tae Kwon Do class. Read my column titled Safer in the City.
Funny First Date Videos
First dates can sometimes be awkward but this one really takes the cake. Check out this funny first date video:
In this next funny first date video Katie is expecting to meet Mr. Right. Do you think she expected to meet Hannibal Lecter?
Dating Tip:
Plan to go to a comedy club on your first date. Did you know that laughter lowers your blood pressure, decreases your stress, protects your heart, and gives your body a great workout? Not to mention the fact that your first date won’t feel like an interview.
Share the laughter – if you have a funny first date story or video submit it in the comment section below.
Online Dating News
Thinking of meeting someone special? Here is some great news from the online dating industry.
eharmony.com, the first service within the online dating industry to use a scientific approach to matching highly compatible singles, will hold its FREE Communications Event until October 10, 2010. During that time you can communicate with all of your matches for free.
Additionally, Chemistry.com a premium offering from Match.com, is holding their Free Communication Weekend – this Weekend! October 8th – 10th!. Where you can create a profile and enjoy all of the features of a paying member.
Enjoy a positive experience and take advantage of these great offers! Since both sites are offering a FREE special, they will be loaded with many new singles. Increasing your odds of meeting more people is why Safer Dates recommends signing up for at least two online dating sites. So put on your best smile and create that profile!
College Campus Self-Defense Video Using a Book and a Pen
Watch Safer Dates experts Jessica Walker and Rick DeAguila demonstrate self-defense techniques to promote College campus safety.
Special thanks to Top Martial Arts in Clearwater Florida.
Is It Easy To Become Irresistibly Attractive To The Opposite Sex
Sure it is, but for those of us that are a little shy or not as confident, here are a few easy tips.
Self-confidence is probably the most important attribute to have when approaching the opposite sex. It’s something that comes out in not only your words but also in your body language and is extremely attractive.
According to Dating Coach and Your Tango contributor, Paige Parker, the top 10 easy steps to becoming irresistibly attractive to the opposite sex are:
- Getting out of the house (ok, this one is obvious)
- Dressing confidently
- Not walking like a New Yorker
- Be a billboard for happiness (love this one)
- Use body language to your advantage
- Attract attention with a prop
- Spark up spontaneous conversation
- Make others feel important
- A little flattery will get you everywhere
- Loosen up and laugh (love this one too)
Check out the details of these 10 tips on YourTango.com.
The Top 2 Online Dating Cities in America
Do you know what the top 2 cities for online dating are? We’ll give you a hint. They are both small in size with highly condensed populations.
Still can’t figure it out? Here are a few more hints:
- They both have thriving music scenes.
- Premium cultural attractions.
- Many places for local singles to meet.
- The top city for online dating has of over 50 colleges.
- The second best city to meet singles online is the federal government’s number 1 employer.
According to an article found in msn’s local edition Tampa Florida, the top city for online dating in America is Boston followed directly by Washington DC. In both of these cities more and more tech-savvy singles are looking and finding love online. Busy schedules and demanding careers are the main reasons these singles are choosing online dating. Of course we like the fact that there is safety in numbers, so we especially love these cities for safer first dates.
To read about other fabulous cities to meet local singles check out “The Best Cities For Online Dating” written by Francesca Levy for Forbes.com.
Burglars Use Social Networks To Find Empty Homes
By Jessica Walker
I read this article the other day about two teenagers involved in burglaries, some of which resulted from information they gathered on social networking sites. Ironically, over-sharing your information online is what these digital burglars and the creators of the location based services are banking on. Although these services are great for businesses, there are some serious privacy concerns for personal use. I immediately decided geolocation services was to be the topic for my next article and started my research.
Later that evening I went out with a friend. Before leaving the house I went through my usual routine of turning on a few lights and another light bulb literally went on in my head. How many people leave the lights on when they go out at night? How many stop their mail and newspaper delivery, or put their lights on timers when they go away on vacation, all to make it look like someone IS home? Then why do they sabotage that effort and announce to the world that they are NOT home online? Do they think only their “friends” see what they’re doing on Facebook?
Geolocation apps work like this: They report your location to other users and they associate real world locations (like restaurants, events) to your location. If you are on a social network and participate in this service, regardless of the privacy level you set, you’re increasing your level of risk. I found a related article written by Linda Criddle, the president of the Safe Internet Alliance, called “Think You’ve Got Nothing to Hide”? I especially like the last sentence where she sums it all up with a great piece of advice, “Perhaps the guiding privacy principle should be – always share less about your private life than Mark Zuckerberg, Larry Page, or Sergey Brin”.
As more social networking and geolocation services appear we need to revisit how we protect our digital lives like we do our real ones. Here are a few good places to start:
- Was Facebook and ‘Places’ burglars’ roadmap? Technolog on msnbc.com
- Facebook introduces ‘Places’ location-sharing program. msnbc.com
- Burglary ring targets Facebook users in New Hampshire. necn.com
- Where are you? Tips for using Facebook’s Places. msnbc.com
- Please Rob Me. saferdates.com
- Think You’ve Got Nothing to Hide? safeinternet.org
- Location Based Services: Safety Tips Video with Christopher Burgess. casttv.com
Until next time, here’s to keeping you Safer in the City!
- Jessica
About Jessica Walker~”Safer in the City” columnist I was very excited when asked to write a column for saferdates.com. I’ve been influenced by safety and self-defense pretty much my whole life. While other girls were making macaroni necklaces in Girl Scouts, I was sparring with boys, breaking boards and doing knuckle push-ups on cement in Tae Kwon Do class. Read my column titled Safer in the City.
He Fired Her They Reunited On Dating Site And Now They Are Getting Married
We found this story today, loved it and had to share it with our readers. This true story about a Tampa Bay Florida couple is a perfect example of changing your attitude towards a situation you can not change. It also shows that two people can have different interests yet similar values and having similar values is what truly matters in a relationship. The story goes like this: he fired her, they both signed up on the same dating site, she takes a personality test, he ends up being the best match, she contacts him, he asked her for a date and the rest is history.
What an inspiring story! Congratulations Kelly and Casey! Read all about this amazing true love story on tampabay.com.
5 College Campus Safety Tips
By Jessica Walker
I was shopping the other day and noticed the department stores already switched over their clothes to fall attire and it hit me… its back to school time! Instantly I was reminded to write something on college campus safety. When I got back to my office, I spotted an overlooked note, penned on my calendar back in May, as a reminder to write a post on this very topic. I remembered adding that note right after reading an article about the Virginia lacrosse player murder on www.foxnews.com.
My initial thought for this post was to gather as much information as I could get my hands on without overwhelming everyone at the same time. Then I found the following website and hit the jackpot: www.securityoncampus.org
Today, Security On Campus, Inc. (SOC) remains the first and only nonprofit organization dedicated to the prevention of criminal violence at colleges and universities nationwide through educational, awareness, and policy initiatives. SOC’s website provides access to a comprehensive database of campus crime statistics and other pertinent information. SOC has many major legislative accomplishments, one in particular called the Jeanne Clery Disclosure of Campus Security Policy and Campus Crime Statistics Act, a federal law that requires institutions of higher education to release campus crime statistics and security policies to their current and prospective students and employees.
I recommend all students and parents of students bookmark this site for easy future reference.
Plus check out the following five safety tips to consider when moving onto campus. Feel free to pass them around.
- Always be aware of your surroundings. We can’t say that enough! Be aware of strangers in your dorm. During the day, walk the campus to learn a couple different ways to get to and from class. Plus make a mental note of vulnerable areas and steer clear of them especially at night.
- Contact your campus security officer and request a report on campus crime history and talk to them about the vulnerable areas you spotted.
- Contact the local community safety officer assigned to the neighborhood(s) around the campus. Anyone can do this to learn more about their neighborhood. Your local community safety officer should know every criminal or future criminal in the area, that’s their job. Pick their brain, I did before purchasing my home and learned what neighborhoods to stay clear of.
- Make sure your dorm room or apartment has adequate locks on the doors and windows. You can have your parents install more locks before they head back home, if needed. Also make sure your door has a peephole and if it doesn’t ask to have one installed.
- Run a background check on your roommate and surrounding roommates by gathering information nonchalantly. Act like you’re getting to know everyone and just want to jot down their full name and date of birth. It should seem harmless to them. If not, just explain you like to pass out cupcakes on birthdays and what college kid doesn’t like cupcakes.
My college years were a blast. I would go back in a heartbeat. So have fun, be crazy, party, eat lots of pizza and cupcakes, while your metabolism allows it, but always remember to never, ever get too comfortable and let your guard down! Oh and I forgot to mention the most important thing, try and learn something while you’re at it. And I don’t mean how to become a master at chandeliers. My favorite drinking game!
Until next time, here’s to keeping you Safer in the City!
- Jessica
About Jessica Walker~”Safer in the City” columnist I was very excited when asked to write a column for http://www.saferdates.com/ I’ve been influenced by safety and self-defense pretty much my whole life. While other girls were making macaroni necklaces in Girl Scouts, I was sparring with boys, breaking boards and doing knuckle push-ups on cement in Tae Kwon Do class. Read my column to learn more.
Social Networking is Creating a Better Version of the World-Please ReTweet
Trust is the foundation upon which all quality relationships are built and can be developed through online social networking just like it can offline. This article “It Takes a Social Network”, is interesting not only from a safety standpoint; as it discusses the need for stricter privacy controls, but because of its positive look at developing relationships through social networking.
Obviously meeting people online is here to stay and in our 2.0 world it fulfills our basic need to feel connected.
“From trust comes empathy, and the simple act of empathizing creates a slightly better version of the world.” How does a computer help develop empathy? Read full article at Boston.com to find out.
