Trials & Tribulations of Your Holiday Honey

By Colleen Leahey

Thanksgiving break is particularly glorious for college students. After several months of combating the small creatures living under their fridges, studying until their brains ache and surviving swine-related illnesses without Mom’s chicken noodle soup, they finally return home. Everyone looks forward to a day dedicated to turkey, mashed potatoes and embarrassing family stories. But there’s another something students smile about when thinking of Thanksgiving break: their holiday honey.

Yes, I am aware this term is absolutely absurd. The other day I made the mistake of referring to my roommate’s ex-squeeze as her holiday honey while she was sipping on a glass of water. She proceeded to spurt water everywhere while laughing hysterically. I, however, like the term. My mom began using it several years ago, when my older sister was a freshman in college. Every break (Columbus Day, Thanksgiving, Winter, et cetera), Kelly and her high school boyfriend would rekindle their flame for several days, then let it fizzle when they returned to their respective schools.

During my freshman year, I followed in my sister’s footsteps. When home from school, I would cuddle and reminisce with an ex, forgetting the actual reason we broke up and enjoying a casual romance instead. This type of behavior is far from uncommon; student after student enjoys time spent with his or her special hometown friend. But the question is: Why? Does a holiday honey have something more appealing than your typical college crush?

Definitely. First of all, there are always old feelings involved with a high school ex. They knew you before you went to keggers and made out on the dance floor with several other partygoers in a night. They evoke a general innocence in you, a quality that can seem lost in the throes of chaotic college events. When with them, you’re reminded of corsages, ice cream dates and movies you never actually watched. Certainly, there are some high school memories you would like to forget — but overall, the nostalgia associated with an old flame is extremely comforting.

In addition to the comfort of old stories, there is also a sort of security associated with a holiday honey. He or she is your college safety net, gently catching you break after break. People constantly complain about the lack of sober, functional relationships during their years on the Hilltop, particularly as freshmen. With a college hook-up, you typically wake up each morning in his or her bed and must piece the previous night’s events together, hoping you didn’t do or say anything too embarrassing. With a holiday hook-up, you talk and catch up for hours, allowing a general coziness to overwhelm your being.

Also, the no-strings-attached situation is a definite plus. Some realistic couples understand the difficulties of a long-distance relationship, deciding to be together when at home and single when at school. They often have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, enjoying the time spent with one another rather than prying for all the juicy details of each other’s college love life.

Sometimes, however, there can be a bump in the road for hometown sweethearts. In said casual relationship, one party may want something more than the other. This, inevitably, is the issue with most holiday honeys. Upon hearing stories of their love’s best guy or girl friend from college, they turn a vibrant shade of green, envy enveloping them. Hoping not to lose their hometown security blanket, they try to rekindle their old romance into a full-fledged relationship. Usually, this is an epic failure.

Undoubtedly, some holiday honeys will become serious, realizing their true like, or maybe even love, for one another. However, it’s important to remember that this is not always the case. Most holiday honeys are just that; they hang out over breaks from school, then go about their separate business once back on their different campuses.

If a relationship is forced or not thought out, it tends to end in a rocky break-up, especially if you’re spending time with a high school ex. Before jumping into anything, try not to get caught up in the feel-good whirlwind of butterflies and giddiness, and recall the actual reason you are no longer dating this person and that they, in fact, are your EX. Chances are, you’ll realize this person can never be more than your holiday hook-up.

So, when you’re going out Wednesday night with all your friends, or opting instead to spend the evening in with your person of interest, it’s necessary to take it all with a grain of salt. Enjoy the time you spend with your special someone; bake cookies, hold hands, do whatever your mushy heart desires. Dreams of sugarplums and relationships may dance through your head, but remember to stay grounded. For the time being, this person is not your girlfriend or boyfriend, but simply your holiday honey. And, back at school, you’ll most likely have a lovely DFMO awaiting your return.

Source: the guide