Write Your Dating Profile with a Smile

by Jessica Walker

After celebrating Valentine’s Day, I figured it was appropriate to switch the focus this month from safety to helping you find that special someone. And what better way to do that then to interview another Safer Dates expert, Yvonnne Rice, for my third article, “Write Your Dating Profile with a Smile.” Scroll below to read it now.

Yvonne Rice is a former Dating Agency Director and expert in the research of all aspects of the single lifestyle. She is a huge supporter of online dating and has researched 4,500+ online singles and over 6,000 online dating sites globally. As a result of this research, she is also the Author of two books dedicated to being single and dating online, “Love Sex Lies and the Internet Mouse ‘Trap’” and “Finding ‘The One’ – A Powerful Step-by-Step Guide to Making Online Dating Work for You”, available through SaferDates.com. Whether you’re a new or seasoned dater, both of Yvonne’s books will help you to truly understand the online dating scene. Yvonne’s depth of research, coupled with her wry sense of humor, provides a clear, accurate and immensely well-balanced view of the good, the bad and the ugly sides of Internet dating in all of its forms.

In addition to being an author, Yvonne is also a consultant to various global law enforcement and government agencies for online safety and Internet scams that are directed at the singles dating, chat room and social networking industries. In fact, Yvonne recently spoke to online romance scams at an International Symposium on Internet Fraud. The Symposium was designed for global law enforcement agencies, governments, government agencies and commerce to come together to discuss the problems of online fraud – basically people coercing money from others through false pretense – and how to eliminate the problem.

Until next month, here’s to keeping you Safer in the City!

- Jessica

Jessica: What made you decide to write about online dating?

Yvonne: I discovered that there was a need for Online Daters to understand how to communicate effectively for greater success and to also stay safe online – without scaring them. I am a huge supporter of Online Dating and know just how successful it has been for millions of people around the world – if done correctly.

As a former Dating Agency Director I understand how difficult it can be for anyone looking to find “The One.” After researching over 6,000 dating sites and interviewing over 4,500 online singles – I had a pretty good idea what was missing – basically it comes down to presenting yourself online and how you communicate.

Jessica: What do you suggest to those people who aren’t strong writers, what resources are out there to help them compose a fantastic dating profile?

Yvonne: There are many resources available to employ a company or a person to write a profile for you and they are all great. However, when you write a profile yourself – it comes from you. You see, a profile is an extension of you and who you are. You don’t need to be a professional writer – you just need to be honest and be the special person you are. In my experience – these are the profiles that get the best results – they attract the people they are truly looking for.

Jessica: Also, both your books are great tools that can be referenced when composing a dating profile. Especially your second book, “Finding ‘The One’ – A Powerful Step-by-Step Guide to Making Online Dating Work for You.” I found Chapter 3, Your Dating Site Profile, very informative and a necessary read for anyone looking to write an effective profile.

Jessica: How many dating sites should a single person sign up for to ensure they market themselves effectively but also don’t get too overwhelmed?

Yvonne: It really depends on how much time you have to spend on replying to contacts you receive or time you wish to spend searching for someone you find potentially suited to you on the sites. Generally I would recommend 2 sites to begin with and understand that you may need to be on them for at least a couple of months. Remember, anyone can get a date – however, it takes time to find “The One.”

Jessica: Would you recommend that our members complete the personality/compatibility tests provided by some dating sites?  In your professional opinion, are they truly effective in finding the perfect match?

Yvonne: It’s interesting that you ask this question as I have just finished extensive research on this subject. I have long believed that in order to find the partner for you and create the possibility of your version of “Happy-Ever-After” you need to look at you and who you really are first. “Who are you bringing to the table” when you meet that person for the first time? What type of person are you? Most people get stuck on this as they don’t really know. They can tell you some of their traits – but not the type of person they are. In order to find someone you start with who you are. In my experience every single can give me (and do) a list of what they DON’T WANT in a potential new partner. However, the list of what they DO WANT is sadly much shorter.

Compatibility testing is a slightly different area – These are also useful. However, it is also dependant on the Dating Site’s database (how many active members they have on their site). If for example you are matched with your perfect compatibility partner and they live on the other side of the world or another state from you – this may be useless to you. In short, Personality testing is a great idea. Compatibility testing is a facility the Dating Sites provide as a service to you – no harm in trying either of them – life can be full of surprises.

Jessica: What are your thoughts on using social networking sites like Facebook, LinkedIn and MySpace to search for potential dates, should they be used that way?  If so, what kinds of tips can you pass along to help our members use them more effectively?

Yvonne: We could talk for ages on this subject – Social Networking certainly has its place in my opinion and there are many “Dating Groups” on the various Social Networking Mediums. Interestingly enough some recent statistics have stated that there is a 31% drop-off in people using these sites to find a partner – Singles have a preference to going back to the dating sites. Most social networking Sites generally tend towards meet-ups for singles – groups who organize Single’s getting together at a pre-organized function. You also have dating sites that have a page on these networks as well. There is no right way or wrong way to seek a partner – however, we have some major safety and security concerns about using social networking to Date.

Jessica: What are five things that a reader can do right after reading this article to improve their Safer Dates profile?

Yvonne:
1)  Be honest in what you write about yourself – think of how you would feel if someone lied to you. Keep all personal information including anything about your family, children (if you have them) financial situation or anything else that you wouldn’t tell a stranger you met on the street to yourself– remember everyone online is a stranger until you physically meet them.

2)  Have a photo of yourself and make sure it is no older than 6 months old – no matter what you think you look like. There is someone out there looking for you – so, how are they supposed to find you if you are hidden? Profiles with photos displayed have 15 times more hits than one’s that don’t. So, go for it! You are looking to find “The One.”

3)  Make sure the photo of you is against a blank wall and it only has you in it – you don’t want to attract someone who thinks you might be a good target to rip-off. Or lose someone because they think they may come second best to “Fluffy” or the fish you caught.

4)  Avoid listing all the things you WON”T tolerate – it’s really off-putting. It can come across as you being a control freak, demanding, high-maintenance, loony, just to mention as few – which I’m sure in real life you are not.

5)  Write or re-write your profile with a smile on your face, think of the possibilities that lay in front of you by being on the site and what your life will look like to you when you find that person for you– you will be amazed at the difference it makes.